Э П AND L ABOUT Г
Э П AND L ABOUT Г
Next day, together with morning mail the secretary puts to me on
Table a thin narrow envelope.
My secretary - that woman, that long time was the secretary
Egor, and then it has been dismissed from work only that has dared to speak with
Me on what has immediately reported on sister vigilant Муся.
Now, she does not hasten to leave an office, as if gathering with forces,
To inform me about something unpleasant.
- Something happens?
- Yes. Have called this morning …
- Муся?
- Yes. The big dose of soporific …
- And the letter?
- Delivered with morning mail
- Well. Contact a family, it is necessary to organise funeral.
- We will bury it?
- Necessarily we will
The woman is silent, but does not leave.
- You do not agree with me?
Again silence, and only I was late now I notice, that from its eyes
Tears flow
- Well, here it still that the such? That - to bury it is not necessary, - in tears? As
To understand?
- To bury, I would not become after everything, - it sobs. - and to crying,
Because you have now told in accuracy, as Egor Igorevich. So it is strange, but
So it is similar …
- Well, here see, means, correctly I speak, if, similar it turns out.
So be engaged in funeral, to us, alas, not to get used …
It leaves, and I unpack an envelope, not testing thus almost
Anything: neither excitements, nor fear, neither a grief, nor fault, even grief.
The first days performed in clinic after operation, I very much was afraid, that
Муся will break what - be image to me in chamber.
Certainly, I knew, that there is a consequence, that its sister
Has disappeared, and Мусю drag on instances.
And, of course, there is the strict is locked on its occurrence in clinic
In general, and in my chamber, in particular.
And all таки I was afraid, because at all did not know, how to me to conduct
Itself with it also what to speak.
To accuse, reproach, abuse, banish it, even easier to be silent
Contemptiously I could not.
But what? That I should tell to it if pardons were not in mine
Heart?
Also what, I could hear from it?
No, my consciousness refused flatly to reflect in it
Direction, and I almost in panic was afraid.
Now the fear is not present, but also anything else is not present.
I attentively listen to myself before to take the letter from
Envelope.
Also I do not find in a shower any feelings.
Then I develop the letter.
”Silly and meanly for my part to ask from you pardons, - writes to me
Муся, - because your pardon even if you by kindness sincere will forgive
Me, will change nothing. It is impossible to measure degree of my treachery, and